By JOANNA BRODER, Staff Writer

Sitting in jogging suits and sipping coffee drinks at the Winnetka Starbucks last week, Nancy Nolan and Cathy McCormick, both Winnetka homemakers, pondered their New Year's resolutions. For Nolan it was working out more intensely than her already robust, five-day-per week, 40-minutes-per-time exercise routine. For McCormick, it was realizing that with her daughter just two year's away from leaving home for college, perhaps it was time to realize her dream of starting a business.

But as the months of 2007 roll by, will Nolan and McCormick actually stick to their New Year's resolutions? The answer is a resounding maybe. According to Courtney Parks, 39, a certified life coach and former counseling psychologist, some people very easily adopt change while others do not. "Some people are just like boom, boom, boom. 'That's it. I'm doing it.' They're committed," she says. "They've made it make sense."

Ray Schuschu, a Winnetka-based massage therapist and international marketing director for Earth Friendly Products, is one of the fortunate ones who made last year's New Year's resolution to get into shape a reality. "I've been really good at keeping my resolutions," he says. I "just wanted to do things for myself that I think will be beneficial to me." He says he has worked out regularly this past year, even hiring a personal trainer and a nutritionist. His resolution this year is to continue to stay fit.

But not everyone is like Schuschu. And for those people whose resolve to follow New Year's resolutions falls somewhere north of status-quo but south of full-blown commitment there are some factors that help make lasting change a reality. People are more likely to make an enduring change when they understand just how that change will really touch their lives, Parks says. Take quitting smoking for example. Some people want to quit to better their health. While others want to do it for financial reasons such as saving the money they spend on cigarettes. Still others want to stop fighting with a spouse who is angry about their habit. Try to make resolutions that are relevant to your own life, Parks advises. When people "have something to attach to [the resolution] that's meaningful and powerful for them, I think people tend to stay more motivated," she says.

Carrie Read, who grew up in Winnetka and is now a recruiter for Microsoft Corporation in Seattle, says that last year she made a resolution to send a letter a month. It worked so well that she may do it again this year. "It was great," she says about sending monthly letters to her old college friends, grandparents and a niece who was learning to read. "Nobody gets mail anymore," she explains. "It's all e-mail." And people wrote her back.

In addition to her private practice, Parks also works as a life-coach at the Evanston Athletic Club, where she will lead workshops in January and February titled "No More Resolutions!", designed to help people who are tired of making New Year's resolutions that do not stick to make real changes in their lives. The workshop is open to the public. It is not that Parks thinks resolutions are bad, it is just that the typical way people make and fulfill resolutions often does not work, Parks explains. "I think people set really lofty goals which are not necessarily realistic for themselves," she says. Later they find "they can't really live up to it."

Try not to bite off more than you can chew, Parks suggests. Someone who wants to start exercising, for instance, may see the ideal workout regimen to be seven-days a week for an hour each time, Parks says. However, that person might want to start off more slowly perhaps working out for a half-an-hour, three days a week. This is because "they start really big [but] then peter out really quickly because, again, they've taken too much off," she says. It is better for a person to set themselves up for success in the first place and add more exercise on later after getting over the first hump, says Parks.

For Nolan, already an experienced exerciser who wants to work out longer, Parks suggests she think about what it will take to make it happen. You cannot create time, she says, but you can choose how to spend it. Ask yourself, when in the week does it make sense to go to the gym? Ask: "How can I make it easier and how can I make it fun?" Nolan has already decided to get up earlier. But if people find that their resolution does not make sense after thinking it through, they should abandon or revise it, Parks says. Sometimes people make commitments, like losing weight, that are not for themselves but for other people. "They're not really ready to do it themselves," Parks explains.

Another key to making a lasting change is to enlist the support of others, Parks says. Find ways to connect with other people who can help you stick to your goal, like online support groups, coaches or friends. Parks says she finds that she will do much more when someone else is paying attention. And remember to celebrate along the way. If your goal is to lose 50 pounds and you only celebrate at the end, you have waited too long, she says. Find ways amidst the process to celebrate small victories.

It is also important to place the focus on what you want -- for example eating more healthily -- not what you don't want -- such as cutting out sugar or junk food. When the focus on the things to cut out "people tend to feel deprived," Parks says.

Also state your intention out loud because it is a way to clearly set your objective, Parks says. Cathy McCormick, for example, who wants to start her own business, should begin to announce her goals. "Just the act of sharing with people that you want to do something makes you more likely to do it."

McCormick says that to achieve her goal she plans to take classes, do research and take it one step at a time in 2007. According to Parks, it is also important to ask yourself: Do you really love it? And, what it is literally going to take to make it work?

"Starting a business is absolutely possible and it's a longer term goal," Parks explains. "Find ways to learn from other people so you are not reinventing the wheel. "If you start telling people you want to start a business nine times out of ten people will say: 'Oh I know someone who can help you with that.'"

And get specific, suggests Parks. Carole Read, of Winnetka, says her New Year's resolution is to spend more time with her friends. "If you say I want to spend more time with my friends again what does that mean?" Parks asks. "How much time?" Brainstorm ways to fulfill your goal by creating a schedule. Host a dinner party once a month perhaps. The schedule need not be overly structured, Parks says.

Julius Klepacz, a software developer, was visiting his in-laws in Winnetka. A self-described "Type A" personality, Klepacz says he tends to get stressed out at his new job. His resolutions are to be more relaxed at work and try to live more in the moment. It is a very personal process, Parks explains, so ask yourself what does it mean to be less stressed? Some people arrange to have their e-mail program send them a reminder to remember to relax during the day, Parks says. Others schedule actual time to decompress during the day. She says one of her clients found that looking at a plant on her desk at work gave her a good feeling and reminded her to breathe.

Lastly, get creative about your resolutions, Parks suggests. "This is an opportunity for you to really get connected to what you want in your life that doesn't exist," she says. "And figure out a way to fit that in."

2008 © Courtney Parks