How To Give Up Control So You Can Actually Get Results
Ever notice that sometimes you get what you want and don’t even realize it?
We all have dreams and goals and wishes. We’re trained to think that if we put in the effort, we’ll get results. Maybe not right away, maybe not exactly as we imagined. But basically if we do the work, we’ll get the reward.
The truth is, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes results come but not in the way we expect. And this is fine in general, but it’s also where we get tripped up.
When we get too attached to our efforts “working”, we get frustrated and disappointed when they don’t. We also miss out on what IS working and that we can still have what we want, even if it’s not exactly how we planned.
So here are three steps to making things work, without getting hooked on the details.
First off, know that you can create and have what you want. From a spiritual perspective, you are designed and set up to achieve.
Your belief, understanding and expectation that things are going to work has a lot to do with things working!! What you can’t always control are the details.
This doesn’t mean you just sit around or throw in the towel because you can't predict every outcome. Your effort is a big part of the creation process.
But when you take smart, consistent action combined with trust and positive expectation, your bigger picture of success can fall into place much more easily.
Focus on what’s next
One of the greatest things I've learned about getting results in business is from my (very wise) former coach, Marla Skibbins.
When I started my coaching practice, I’d get easily disappointed when I didn’t get a client, my numbers were low on a class or event or I tried a new marketing technique and it flopped.
Her advice to me was always the same…NEXT!! Which means OK, so that happened, now what (or who) is next for you?
She helped me to keep from getting stuck on things going perfectly. She helped me to take a breath and move on, as soon as it felt right. And she helped me focus on the next prospect, the next event and the next marketing attempt, adjusting and improving as needed.
When you don’t get the result you want, let yourself be disappointed. Then see what you can learn from your experience and say “next” to move on.
Pay attention to the good stuff
Just because you don’t get what you expect from your effort doesn’t mean you’re not getting results. In fact, I regularly help my clients track and notice what IS happening to their success, no matter what type of action they’re taking.
For me, if I have a promotion that doesn’t quite fly, I tend to get business regardless. A former client will get in touch “out of the blue”, I’ll meet someone at a party who wants to work with me or I’ll get the chance to promote my business in a brand new way. This tends to happen just as I’m getting over my disappointment. And often, my income from those “surprises” is more than I would have made if the promotion went as planned.
So your job is simply to create momentum and take action – in the smartest, most enjoyable ways you know – then pay attention to what’s working, what’s showing up and what’s going RIGHT.
Soon you’ll realize that when you put yourself out there and choose to feel good about it, what you want will actually happen. It just might show up a little differently than you think.
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