As a Business, Career & Life Coach that specializes in supporting women, my job is to help my clients to do work they love and be as successful as possible without burning out in the process.
Over the years, I’ve developed a 5-Step Passion Success & Balance Coaching Method designed to do just that. At the heart of it is my “secret sauce” - a blend of solid strategy and the how-to of business and career growth along with what I call the psychology of success - attention to feelings, beliefs and behaviors that either support or get in the way of your ultimate goals and happiness.
While a solid strategy is absolutely necessary, I’ve found that beyond tactics, planning and action, what’s beneath the surface makes success stick. As a coach with keen intuition, I both hear and pick up on women’s feelings about what’s really going on inside, much of which they don't discuss publicly.
So I want you to know that if your emotions are impacting your work in ways that aren't helpful, you are not alone. This happens with every woman at every level (and of course, for men) and bringing them to light is the first step in the internal change process.
Here are three examples of common issues women share with me that you might experience too.
Beating up on yourself to stay motivated
So many women (including me at times) are really hard on themselves. This problem is so prevalent with high-achieving women that I wrote an entire post on it.
The cliff notes - and the questions I hear from clients are…
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why didn’t I do XYZ when I know I should have?”
“Why have I been in the same place for so long?!”
…sometimes with more explicit language than I’ll share here ;).
We spend lots of time picking ourselves and our patterns apart. Sometimes paying attention to the questions above is important - and sometimes they’re a distraction and a way for our fear to keep us in place.
Fear is naturally protective and it holds us back for a reason. But beating up on ourselves rarely makes us do better.
So know that if you’re hard on yourself and you get stuck on WHY you’re stuck, that’s totally normal. While you may need to do some deeper work, being loving to yourself can help you get back into action in the short-term…and get you better results in the long-term.
Getting overwhelmed by too much work and activity
In our culture, we’re fed a steady diet of do more, be more, work harder, hustle faster…as if that’s THE route to success.
Since “success without exhaustion” is my thing, I notice how many big-time biz owners start with complex offerings only to streamline them later. I also watch how high-level execs change how they operate and delegate as they rise to the top.
If you’re tired of being told that bigger, better, faster is the only way to success, it’s because you know deep down that’s not your way.
Most women are already juggling a TON as it is - so we’re smart to be wary of models and messaging that require more hustle.
When I coach clients, I often help them…
narrow their business offerings to programs and products that sell best
cut down their growth strategies to those that are simple, effective and enjoyable
focus their job search by applying only for positions, gigs and projects that really fit
concentrate at work and in their career overall on their natural skills and talents
What I find is my clients get better results when they’re fully behind what they’re doing, they’re committed and excited (instead of exhausted) and they’ve actually created space to bring in more. I’ve even tracked my own income over the years and I’ve consistently made more when I’ve simplified, I have energy and I’m happy.
If you resist the idea of hustling, there’s nothing wrong with you. When you give yourself permission to slow down and be intentional about your work, success gets the chance to flow.
Feeling guilty when things are going well in your work and life
Upleveling is a big deal.
While it sounds good - doubling your income, landing your dream job, having lots more time for yourself - it can sometimes be uncomfortable.
And not because there’s a problem or the dream isn’t meant for you…simply because it’s NEW.
If we’ve lived with struggle or challenge or constant effort (with little payoff), we get used to that. So enjoying our work and upping our income - especially making more while doing less - can bring up guilt.
We actually need to assimilate to things like more money, more support and more time off…and it’s a process. I work regularly with clients on first imagining - then taking action and adjusting to - new ways to work and live beyond what they’ve ever experienced.
When you’re reaching goals and living into your vision, guilt is often a sign that you’re doing something right, not something wrong.
As I say to clients, you can feel whatever you feel...and guilt, for example, serves a purpose and will probably stay with you. But your higher self gets to take the lead and make decisions about your work, your life and your future…and your guilt just gets to come along for the ride.
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