Getting Out Of The Obligation Trap

Obligation is a tricky word.

It implies that something MUST be done and that doing this thing will not be enjoyable at all. To do it, we’ll need to force ourselves.

That may or may not be true…but most of us get worked up about things that feel forced.

Our culture also puts a lot of pressure on women when it comes to obligations.

Do your job, empower your team and be in charge of fun work events!

Make sure the kids have three healthy meals a day because that’s what good moms do!

Run your business and your home plus be sure to pitch in at family, school and community functions!

While it’s hard to avoid expectations and obligations entirely, you always have options to manage them better.

Figure out your why

Whether personal or professional, give yourself a moment to think about why you’re taking  action or saying yes.

Will this help you reach a goal?

Is this step a requirement?

Are you concerned about disappointing others?

Are you worried about your reputation?

Let yourself consider the consequences of doing - or not doing - to get a sense of what’s motivating you.

By taking time to check in and make a clear decision, you move from force to choice.

Just say no

As women, we get pulled in so many directions that pleasing others can feel easier than preserving ourselves.

Setting boundaries requires us to say no to requests, invitations and even activities we might want to be involved in so we can focus on our goals and well-being.

The guilt that comes along with this can be powerful. But the regret and frustration that come with being there for everything and everyone but ourselves is worse.

There will always be more opportunities. You get to choose, each time, what’s best for you.  

Contain your time

When you do decide to take on an obligation, don’t let the process torture you.

Take a breath, let go of any drama, figure out the best approach and be sure it doesn’t drag on endlessly.

When my clients are avoiding a task and it can’t be delegated, I make a deal with them.

Cut off all distractions, spend an hour, a day or whatever time frame works and finish the task completely. Then follow it up with a nice treat or lovely break.

While you won’t necessarily enjoy it, minimizing your time and adding something special will help.

Give yourself the gift of saying “no” to obligations when you can and “yes” to making them short and sweet when you can't.

I’m with you,

Courtney

Want more support?

If your time is filled with obligations and you're ready to create space for your genius work and your personal well-being, I'd love to talk to you.

My complimentary Coaching Consultation is a chance for us to:

• Get clear on your vision for your ultimate business, career and life

• Talk about what’s getting in the way of your success and happiness

• Discuss my philosophy, my programs and how coaching can help

• Decide if working together is the best next step for you now

  
  

Schedule your chat here so we can connect.